交付时间紧，利益竞争和内部政治都会造成职场挫折和误会。大多数人宁愿尽量避免棘手或复杂的对话，但是不迎难而上直面问题会给他们带来不良结果。优秀的员工会沉着及时地直面困境，而不会逃避挑战。

Tight deadlines, competing interests and internal politics can create frustration and misunderstandings at work. Most people would rather avoid a tricky conversation if they possibly can, but this unwillingness to tackle issues head-on can leave them with potentially negative consequences. A stand-out employee will confront a difficult situation with tact and timeliness, rather than run from such a challenge.

以下七个建议和技巧可以帮助您在高难度对话中保持冷静：

Here are seven tips and techniques to help you stay calm in a tough conversation:

在高难度对话中，你可能会语速加快、音高提高、音调变尖、音量变大，让你听起来慌张、生气、失控或太情绪化。注意你如何清楚表达，如果在对话中你感觉嗓音有变，呼吸变浅或者胸腔收紧，放慢速度，深吸一口气。

控制有度的呼吸对于保持语音平缓和理智是很关键的。呼吸放慢后，你可以在于领导的交谈中更好地保持冷静，展现专业。提前准备也能让你保持冷静。

In a difficult conversation, speech can become hurried, and the pitch, tone and volume can intensify, making you sound flustered, angry, out of control or too emotional. Pay attention to how you’re coming across, and if you feel your voice changing, your breath becoming shallow or your chest tightening as the conversation goes on, slow down and take a deep breath.

Controlled breathing is essential to keeping your voice sounding even and reasonable. In slowing your breathing down, you will be better able to remain calm and maintain professionalism with your boss. Preparing beforehand also helps you keep calm.

再难听的话也要用绅士的姿态表达

Maintain respect for all parties

在谈话中以及处理手边任务时，要尊重每一个参与者的专业能力。也要尊重自己的职业信誉，因为你在高难度对话中的表现会影响你在其他场景中的形象。

如果你提出的问题有关职业行为，那么在对话中保持自身专业性就显得尤其重要。避免任何不够专业的语言，不失时机地表达疑惑。即使你感觉没得到尊重，也没理由表现地不尊重他人——无论该对象是否在场。

Respect the professionalism of other participants in the conversation as well as the task at hand. Honour your professional reputation too, as your conduct in difficult conversations will have an impact on your image in other scenarios.

If the issue you’re raising is one of professional conduct, it becomes especially important to maintain your own professionalism during the conversation. Avoid any unprofessional language, and give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. Even if you feel disrespected, it can’t be a license to be disrespectful – whether the person in question is present or not.

利益是团队的利益，障碍是沟通的障碍

Steer clear of personalisation

作为一名员工，你一定要记住在这些对话中你代表的不是个人的利益，而是“业务”。在对话中，避免使用“你”和“我”这样的代词，用组织、部门或团队的名称来指代不同参与方。

如果你与某个同事不合，要让对话作为影响有效完成工作的路障，而不是你对这个人的感觉。如果对话是关于薪资洽谈，关注你对团队和业务的贡献，避免只关注你的需求的那些点——例如你的家庭或财务承诺。

As an employee, it’s important to remember that you’re not representing your personal interests in these conversations but rather ‘the business’. During the conversation, avoid pronouns such as ‘you’ and ‘I’ and refer to different parties by the name of the organisation, department or specific team.

If you’re having difficulty working with one of your colleagues, frame the conversation as a roadblock to getting the work done effectively, rather than about how that person is making you feel. If the conversation is a salary negotiation, focus on your contribution to the team and business and avoid points that only focus on your needs – such as your family or financial commitments.

你强调那么多次，一定是你心虚！

Avoid overselling your point

发挥停顿的作用。清晰表达观点，但是在别人思考你所述内容时要保持沉默。人们往往会急于打破沉默，用稍微不同的方式将自己的观点再表达一遍，但是这会让你看起来立场不够坚定。

如果你是为团队争取更多资源，那么解释一下资源紧缺如何影响了业绩/表现，给领导留几秒钟时间思考。

Use the power of the pause. Make a point clearly but then stay silent as the other party thinks about what you have said. People often rush to fill any silence by repeating their points in slightly different ways, but this can make you appear less sure of your position.

If you’re asking for more resources for your team, explain how the deficit is impacting performance, then leave a few seconds for your boss to reflect.

不听清对方的观点，你怎么有力反驳？

Listen to the responses you get

力争从高难度对话中获得积极效果。通过听取反对意见和考虑解决问题的其他观点，你会更快获得对双方都较为积极的成果。

如果你的经理在解释程序或为什么资源有限，那么说明你理解他们的观点，但提出疑问。要注意，你在某个情形下可能不会获得所有信息——所以如果你接受被说服，那么即使你没有获得你想要的结果，你最终至少能理解决定背后的原因。

Aim for a positive outcome from a difficult conversation. By listening to counter-arguments and considering alternative options to solve problems or misunderstandings, you can achieve a positive outcome for both parties sooner.

If your manager is explaining procedures or why resources are limited, ask questions and demonstrate that you understand their perspective. Be aware of the fact that you might not have all the information in a given situation – so if you’re open to being persuaded yourself, even if you don’t walk away with what you want, you’ll at least gain an understanding of the reasons behind the decision.

胜要胜的低调，败要败得有城府

Negotiate and compromise

在业务中，每个参与方都有所收获的情况下关系会得到加强。如果你大获全胜，说明对方是完全失败的，所以要留有余地，让关系积极发展。你不会知道何时需要他们的支持，或者将来会需要与他们密切合作。

你可能不会获得加薪，但是你可以在下一个业绩评估前对一些指标达成一致意见。你发现难以与之共事的人可能不会被解雇，但是在下一个项目开始前可能会进行人员配置评估。

In business, relationships are reinforced when all parties walk away with something. A complete win for you could mean a total loss for the other party, so give ground where you can and keep the relationship on positive terms. You might not know when you’ll need their assistance, or need to work with them closely in future.

You might not get the salary raise, but you could agree on some targets ahead of your next performance review. The person you’re finding difficult to work with is probably not going to get fired, but personnel allocations might be reviewed ahead of the next project.

给大家一个happy ending，往事才会再被提起

End on good terms

即使对话特别紧张，也要记住感谢对方抽时间参与——而且要真诚。理想情况下，各方都会获得一个积极的结果，对自己尽最大努力代表了业务和职业形象感到满意，但事实并非总是如此。如果是那样，你就得准备好接受友好结局。

给对话留下积极结尾还有一个好处，即如果你未能得偿所愿，你今后还能重新再提此事。你的经理甚至可能经过几周或几个月的认真思索后再来找你。

Even when a conversation is particularly tense, remember to thank the other party for his or her time – genuinely. Ideally, all parties will leave with a positive outcome, satisfied that they have represented the business and their professional image to the best of their ability, but it’s not always possible. If that’s the case, you’ll have to be prepared to go back to work on cordial terms.

The additional benefit of leaving the conversation with a positive note is that if you don’t get what you’re asking for, you’re leaving the door open to raise the point again further down the track. Your manager might even return to you in a few weeks or a few months having considered your point more thoroughly.